Let’s get real for a minute. Or a weekend, rather.

This past weekend, I was invited to be a part of something truly amazing. Life-changing amazing. That might sound like a big deal… well IT IS! I was lucky enough to be selected to attend a live workshop with Tamara Lackey as my instructor at the creativeLIVE studios in Seattle, WA. The two-day workshop was focused on “Taking Care of Business”, which for me relates to my photo business. This workshop marks a very pivotal point in my path as a professional photographer and business owner.

Brace yourself for one long, reflective, blog-post about my experiences, and my thoughts. You might want to single-task for this

As the owner of a photography business, I am expected to be everything. Or at least have it all covered. Aside from being a good photographer, I am expected to know how to be a good business manager, a good accountant, a good sales person, a good marketer, a good designer, a good… well you get the point. For the past as-long-as-I-can-remember-since-I-started-this-whole-business, I have tried to be ALL of that. And over and over and over, I have failed, miserably. Hopefully from an outside perspective this isn’t SO apparent, and I have a feeling that it isn’t since people continually ask me “how do you do it ALL!?”. The answer: I don’t think I do!!!

But guess what? Failure is a key piece of the puzzle of success. And I’m ok with that. For every 10 times I fall flat on my face, I move forward. I know this. I have known this. For some reason, I just didn’t know that it applied to me, until this past weekend.

There is something so incredibly profound about someone speaking to your heart. It’s like all of a sudden, you can feel this rush of warmth fill in spaces in your heart that you didn’t know were missing. And at the same time, your brain gets all tingly, and a lightbulb goes off, and the clouds open up. All at once. That’s the best I can describe it, clarity.

I arrived late Thursday evening, checked into my room, and went down to the hotel restaurant to meet up with my new friends and colleagues- the other chosen ones. I was so excited to meet them all in person, especially after doing a little online stalking, and emailing. You could tell that everyone was anxious, excited, and a little nervous for the entire experience. But at least we were all in the same boat.

I could hardly sleep that night. I don’t know if it was excitement, or just that normally I’d be up working/editing away anyways. Needless to say, getting up at 6am was NOT easy, lol. But one thought about being LIVE on camera for 8 hours to literally thousands of viewers got me in that shower and getting ready FAST. I met up with a couple of the other students, Jesse and Donovan and we all walked across the street to the creativeLIVE studios together.
From the moment we walked in, you could feel the energy of the atmosphere. Positive. For some reason, I wasn’t nervous to be on camera. Thinking about how thousands of people were watching live just didn’t seem to phase me. Maybe it was that everyone else was so nervous they just sucked the energy for that right out of me… Whatever it was, I am incredibly thankful. The set was gorgeous. Modern, sleek, and fun looking, complete with pretty green apples! Everyone on the set was incredibly kind and welcoming. I felt like we were all long-lost friends! The rest of the students and Tamara arrived, and soon enough Celeste was counting down until we went live.

While re-capping every little detail might be interesting to some, I’d rather reflect on the experience, and what I have learned from it. Since I love lists, here you go:

Things I have learned, and will be implementing into my business, and life.
•  I can’t do it ALL. Nor should I attempt to. What I can do, is figure out my strengths, my passions, and delegate the rest.
• Emotional and physical rest are a VITAL part to being successful. Work in 90 minute intervals, and single-task to get more done.
• I need to be affectionate towards the business side of my business. Dreading it will get me nowhere, and when you break it down, it’s really not all that scary anyways.
• My brand needs to be a reflection of ME. Anyone can buy equiptment, learn PS, etc., but what will set me apart is branding myself in a way that reflects who I am and what I believe.
• Branding and marketing are two separate things. Recognize that. Divide and conquer.
• Realize what makes me dead inside. Stop doing those things, and find a way to take care of them in a different way.
• Know my role. I am an artist, not so much a visionary or manager. Knowing this will help me figure out what I should be tackling myself, and what I should leave up to others.
• There are other ways to get work done than hiring a full time person. Interns, part timers, and commission-based helpers are all options.
• It NEEDS to be EASY to do business with me. I need better marketing materials, and a better mindset.
• You can change your mindset, if you can accept the idea, be ok with the idea, and own the idea. I am working on this, specifically when it comes to helping clients choose the best prints/albums/wall portraits/etc. for their homes. Realizing that they are coming to me because I am the expert, and they want my advice. By changing this mindset, I can change the experience, and therefore change my outcome.
• Money. It’s not the root of all evil, but blind worship of it is. I need to get a better handle on all things financial within my business, and personal life. This will help me achieve my goals much faster.
• The more money you spend, the less you have. The less money you spend, the more you have. Sounds so simple, but definitely spoke to me.
• Fear is a normal thing, and even a good thing. Fear is inevitable, and a part of the process. If you’re scared, you’re probably doing something right.
• Stop telling yourself things that you wouldn’t openly tell someone you love. Get rid of the negative thoughts.

Things I am going to change
• Better up-front communication with clients about their experience. I will help to plan the shoot better, get to know my clients better before the session, and help them through the end of the process by finding out their intention for the shoot, what they’d like to get out of it, and what they’d like to take home from it.
• Acquire my own “team”  to delegate the things I don’t want to do out, so that I can focus on what I do want to do.
• Re-assess and re-brand my business, with an emphasis on who I am, and what my vision is for my clients/work.
• GET IT TOGETHER!!! The business side must be in a good place for me to be successful. I will be better at managing my finances, invoicing, contracts, and clients so that I can stay on top and be a profitable business.
• Simplify the experience. It needs to be easy for clients to work with me, and I need to make it that way.
• SERVICE my clients. I will gain a new perspective, and each time I consider communication with a client, I will first think of how I can better service them. What can I do for them, so that we maintain a relationship that involves the least amount of work on their end, and the most amount of enjoyment.
• I will change my mindset about sales. People are obviously hiring me for a reason, and I need to be better at finding out what that reason is at the beginning of the transaction, and work towards it the entire time.

Whew! I obviously have a LOT to improve, and organize, but thanks to this amazing experience, I now have a starting point, and a very specific direction. This will be a new start to a better experience for my clients, and for myself. In the end, I just want us both to win, and I feel like by moving forward and embracing these new ideas and disciplines, I can accomplish that.

I cannot even tell you how close I have become to the entire group of people who were on this crazy ride with me, but here is a start: (totally stealing your individual-comment-idea Donovan!)

Tamara- WOW. Thank you, for everything. Your honesty, your directness, your challenges, and for sharing your wisdom. I truly feel like you genuinely care about me, and the success of my business, and that is enough to make my eyes well up with tears. There is something so intense about someone who believes in you, and who shows you that. Thank you for sharing that with me, and with all of us. I appreciate your candid nature, and your genuine demeanor. The wealth of knowledge you have shared with me over this past weekend is exactly what I needed, and hoped to gain from this experience. I don’t think I could ever say enough “thank you”s, so I work hard  to instill the knowledge into myself and into my business, since actions speak the loudest. I am so happy that you now know about me , and I sincerely hope that we are able to stay in touch. You are such an inspiration, and I appreciate you. Plus you have some awesome T-rex dance moves.

Erika- You. Are. Amazing. We clicked from the moment I met you, and there is something so genuine and positive about you. You are warm and friendly, and I can tell that you are so dedicated. I know that you will learn to disassociate yourself from the negative, and focus on the positive, only furthering you in many ways. I am happy to know that I have a lifelong friend in you, and I look forward to watching you succeed. Don’t doubt yourself, you’ve got this girl, just freakin’ get started!

Kelli- Girrrrrrrrrl! I can honestly not wait to hang out with you again! I am so happy that I busted down your wall soon enough to get to know you so well in just two days. You are an incredible person, and you are strong. I hope that you embrace yourself more, and infuse that into your business, because you will be unstoppable. Thank you for the laughs, the real convos, and for opening up with me. I am so happy that we are friends, and I know that we will be for a lifetime. WPPI will be here sooner than we know, and I can’t wait to share that experience with you and hopefully our other fellow classmates! Until then, I cast “REVELIO!” on you and your personality, because you have so much to offer to so many. And, my daddy taught me good.

Donovan- Dang boy! You can drop it like it’s hot!! I didn’t expect those dance moves from you, but I should have. You have such a unique talent that I know you will take off and be uber successful with! I am so happy that you have found reason and confidence to take your business to the next level, and to start getting legit. You are worth it, you deserve it, and I hope you won’t sell yourself short anymore. I am so glad that you made it all the way from New Orleans to hang out with us and inspire us all. I love your witty sarcasm, and how you are so meme savvy You have such a warm and friendly demeanor, and I am sure that will only further you in your endeavors. And yes, we will be meeting up again!! Let’s make it happen!

Carolyn- You are wonderful. Your genuine nature and willingness to share your experiences and knowledge is unusual in this industry, and I really appreciated it. You get it. I am so happy that you are booked for a very successful fall season, and I have no doubts that you will continue to succeed with your business. Thank you for sharing stories about your kids, and your experiences, and for sharing your tears. That takes guts. Lots of them. But it’s beautiful to see someone so shamelessly emotional about what is important to them. You inspired me, and I can’t wait until we get to hang again Along with the workshop, one of the most valuable things I learned this weekend was about the golden circle, so thank you for that as well. Cheers to Mountain Dew!

Jesse- I didn’t get to chat with you as much as I would have liked, until the hour before I literally left town. I am so glad I stuck around for that, because you are inspiring. Thank you for your honesty and feedback, I value that so much. You are so careful it seems, with everything. I can tell how much you care about your business, and I know that you will succeed. You have real, raw talent, there’s no denying that. I can’t wait to see what you do with your brand, and how you decide to market YOU. I hope that we get another chance to hang out (WPPI maybe?!!) so that I can see a little bit more of the REAL Jesse Clements

Kenna & Susan- you two are an inspiration. Both of you are so warm, sincere, and welcoming. Thank you so much for the honesty and encouragement. You are a vital part of the CL operation, and it is great to meet you in person after watching you for so long on CL I can’t wait to come back again, and I’m working towards that one-year promise full-force

Celeste- You are a ROCKSTAR. You are incredible at your job, and I can tell how much you really enjoy it. Thank you for being so friendly and engaging, and such a pleasure to work with. I loved hearing about behind the scenes, and watching you in action! Your hard work pays off, and you deserve it. Send me a link to your etsy and post some cute hair fluffs!

Craig- Thank you. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU for doing what you do, and building such an amazing platform to do it. I believe in creativeLIVE 100%, and I cannot wait to see what comes next. What you do is inspiring, and innovative. All of the people you touch is insane. Thank you for everything. I had such an amazing experience, and I am already ready to come back. You’ve built a fabulous team of people who genuinely care and believe in the same things, and it shows. I am proud to be able to say that I was a tiny piece of the big CL puzzle, and hopefully in the future, I will be able to be a part again. Thank you for welcoming me into your CL family, I am so happy to be a part.

Crew- You are all inspiring. The work you do is incredible, and I am astounded at the level of professionalism and the dedication you have towards the show. I didn’t get to know many of you super well, but your love for your work is evident, and inspiring. Thank you for everything. I couldn’t have had this experience if it weren’t for each and every one of you, and for that, I am so so grateful.

Here are some of my favorites I snapped

THANK YOU to EVERYONE who participated, spread the word, and who supports me and my work. Without you, I would not be able to do what I love.

There were 37 blog comments on my HOLY MOLY blog, so the odds were pretty good for those of you who entered the contest!

Now, let’s review what this lovely person will win….

One Full Portrait Session

FINE PRINT:
* The prize is one photo session, in or around the Portland, OR and metro area. It does not include any prints or digital files, those are sold separately.
* Prize must be redeemed, and session held by September 30th, 2011.
* The prize is not redeemable for cash value.

And now…. the winner of the contest is……

Comment number 25!!! BETH!!!!!!!

Beth- email me at courtneyjade@courtneyjade.com to schedule your session date! I am so excited to meet and take photos of you and your family!!! Congratulations, and thank you for all of your support!!!

To everyone else, I can’t thank you enough for playing and supporting me!!!
<3

Since I met Jessica from Modern Moments, we have become such great friends! We have so much in common, and we work extremely well together. She has amazing style and puts things together like I only wish I could! I just can’t say enough good things about her and her family. I think if I could describe her in a few words I would choose: stylish, outgoing, charismatic, fun, upbeat, extremely talented and am amazing mother. But if I had my choice, I’m sure I could write much, MUCH more about how super-duper-awesome she is.

Jackson is one of the sweetest, funniest, most adorable little 4 year olds I have ever met. He has such a sweet personality, and he is very outgoing. He’s got a lot of energy, and is pretty fearless. I had such a fun time photographing him as the little Rockstar that he is!
Jackson is having a Rockstar themed birthday party, and I knew that Jessica would have something awesome up her sleeve for his shoot. Of course, she didn’t disappoint (she never does!), and Jackson showed up wearing hot pink, a leather jacket, worn out jeans, and of course, a faux hawk! He also had an awesome guitar en tote, which he played for me- you should be jealous, he’s really good!!! We shot in downtown Portland, in the Pearl. It was a good mix of urban and industrial, which is what Jessica had envisioned for his photos.

Enough blabbing, check out this sweet little guy!

He has such a great personality!

Thanks for being such an awesome Rockstar, Jackson! I am in love with your photos!

Jessica got to work right away on the birthday invitations! You may remember the adorable invitations that she made for Emerson’s birthday, she is seriously talented!
Check out the super cool tri-fold invites she made for Jackson’s party. I am in love with how she wrote “Send fan mail to:” in the return address spot!! (Sorry about the weird lighting on the invitation pics, it was REALLY dark out, and I didn’t edit them that much)

She even included a CD with some of Jackson’s favorite music in some of the invites! I think with his adorable face, and her incredible design skills, this will be one party that her invitees won’t want to miss!! I wish I could attend, but I’ll be away this weekend with my lovely boys for a surprise mini-vacation.

I can’t wait to see how the party turns out, I have no doubts that it will be fantastic!!!

Jessica, you are seriously a Godsend!!! I am so so sooo glad to have met you, and I am VERY excited to work on more fun projects together in the future! I think we are creative soulmates!!

Oh, and Jackson, YOU ROCK!!! (He wants to marry me, hehe, I adore him!)

Of course, how could I go over there without snapping a few shots of her adorable daughter, Violet?! I have been taking Violet’s photos since she was 3 months old, and it’s crazy to see how big she’s getting! She’s talking up a storm, can sing all of her ABC’s, and loves to model for me! Violet just turned two this past fall, it’s crazy how fast time flys!!

I just can’t get over how cute she is! Thanks for being my impromptu model sweet little violet, you are fabulous!

<3

here is her sneak peek pic

When Jessica of Modern Moments Designs contacted me to see if I would be interested in taking photos of her son Emerson for his one year old photos/cake smash session, I was ecstatic! Jessica is an amazingly talented graphic designer, mother, and party planner. I knew that she would have some amazing ideas for the photos, and once she sent me the mood board, I knew we would be instant friends!!! There’s just something about her, I feel like we’ve been friends forever.

We met up at an old abandoned-looking barn. It was freezing that day, but we lucked out with no rain, a happy almost-one-year-old, and we shot everything in about 20 minutes. One of the fastest child sessions I have ever done, and I am SO pleased with how the images turned out!

Emerson is a happy baby. He has big bright blue eyes, and a smile that is completely contagious. Jessica made sure that he was dressed to impress (adorable polka dot tie and all!).

You can read a bit more about Emerson’s beautiful party invitations here, but here are some of my favorite photos we snapped that day.

How cute is he!?! Seriously, I could just eat him up!! Jessica brought all of those props, when we met at the location, she said “I just brought a few things, so hopefully they will work”, then she opens her trunk and I see that huge white chest… I think my heart stopped! And it got better and better with the suitcase, tie, and books!

And then, up went the blue backdrop,off came the clothes, and out came the cake!

I don’t think he minded the cold for the few minutes we had him out there… he was MUCH too involved in demolishing that adorable cake!

Happy first birthday Em!!! You are such a handsome boy, and I feel so lucky to have met you and your family!!! I can’t wait to take more pictures of you guys!

For more fabulous photos of Emerson, and to check out how his party turned out, head on over to Jessica’s blog and see all of the fun that they had!

<3

Here are some adorable photos of Luketan + Matt!
They were recently engaged, and wanted some photos to remember the moment!
They are such a sweet couple, and I had a blast at our session. I can tell that they are a perfect match!

He and his friend Nate worked there, and we always had such a fun time. Here are a few pics of the place that I took forever ago…

Anyways, this post isn’t about Billy’s, it’s about Jared and Anna Kate!

Jared is intelligent, has a great sense of humor, and a heart of gold. He is just an all-around good guy. He can make anyone laugh, and he’s currently in his third year of medical school! (He’s come a long way from milkshakes).

Anna Kate is a perfect match for Jared. She is wise, beautiful, creative and super sweet!

I could go on and on about how awesome this couple is, and how much fun we had on their engagement shoot, but I’ll let the photos speak for themselves! Play the slideshow and see for yourself.

It has been a long while since I have shot a newborn baby girl, so when Stephanie called me and set up a session for her new bundle of joy, I was super excited!!

Sydney was a great sport, I’m really happy with the images that we got from her session. I just love how cute her room is, (Great job Stephanie & Scott!) The green is such a pretty color! Sydney was just 9 days old in these photos, congratulations Stephanie and Scott, on your new addition!

Here are a few of my favorites from their session, let me know what you think.

I do believe that I have a beautiful life. I believe that life itself is beautiful.

Actually, I believe that life is what you make of it. You get what you give. Per my experience, this is a true statement… or as much truth as I know.

However, sometimes I think that the internet has a way of masking some reality to life. This is in no way a “poor me” or “my life is so awful” post. I feel like I am extremely blessed, and very fortunate for every single bit of my life. I have an amazing boyfriend, a job I love, well to be exact, two jobs I love, and I lead a very happy life.

A good friend once told me “you are a genuinely happy person… you’re lucky, that’s a pretty rare trait.” I, of course, argued with him that it wasn’t luck, that I just try to put into this world what I would like in return, and he of course said something like “yea, that’s the perfect Hallmark answer”. I laughed, and said I was being for real, and he said something like “I’m serious, not many people see the world like you do.”

This made me think. Am I a “happy person” because I choose to focus on the good things? Am I naive? Have I just been lucky enough to avoid any major hardship in this lifetime so far?

Maybe.
Maybe a little of all of it.

But then I think… times haven’t always been great. I work really hard to earn what I get, and to be where I’m at right now. Life hasn’t always been easy. I was not a silver spoon child, nor was I showered with expensive, lavish gifts growing up. I think that what I was given was something so much greater than all of those “things”. I was given more love than I could possibly ask for. I was given an amazing family who supported me and believed in me. I was given wisdom, and the tools to earn success. I was taught that hard work reaps great rewards. I was taught that you treat others how you want to be treated. (thanks Dad <3)
When I think about that, I feel really lucky.

I see some of my friends struggle. I see them helplessly try to make it out there in this world, and fail. Get up again, and fall on their face again.
These are the same friends who’s parents paid their way through school. Who I was extremely jealous of, because they have absolutely no debt for the education and degree that they received.
And then I look at my cards. The ones I’ve been dealt, the one’s I’ve held on to, and the one’s I’ve earned.

I have a pretty good hand.

I think it’s a combination of love, luck, perseverance, and effort.

I am not perfect. I have not been given anything other than love and support to work with. I am very blessed, but I deal with the same problems and hardships as a lot of others out there.
I have debt. I have bad days. I get stressed out really easily. I spill things on my favorite outfits. I trip and fall in front of LOTS of people. I mess up, make mistakes, often. I laugh at all of the wrong, and most inappropriate times. I judge others when I shouldn’t. I am stubborn. I always bite off more than I can chew. I butt into conversations, and cut people off, often. I worry too much. I worry about money too much. I set up goals for myself, and if I don’t achieve them, I beat myself up over it. Sometimes goals that are even 100% out of my control.

I don’t know everything. And I don’t want to. But I know enough.
I know that if I waste my time and energy focusing on everything that’s negative (which I could), then there would be no time or energy left to dedicate to the things that are good and positive in my life.
Dumping time and energy into negative things is like throwing them down the sewer. You will never see anything good come from that… but the landfill will always be there to haunt you. When you spend time focusing on the good, and focusing your energy into the positive things in your life, it’s like watering a garden. You can see the fruits of your labor grow and blossom into something beautiful, something tangible.

To me, the positive is addicting.

One time in high school, I was having a hard time. One of my friends, I noticed, was constantly being negative. When I was around her, I felt awful. Dull, dismal. I soon realized that she was constantly being negative. Towards herself, and others. I made a conscious decision to really try to be happy. Consciously make an effort to turn a negative into a positive, or to just be in a good mood. This made me think about things that I loved, and made me want to surround myself with those who were also positive people. When my friend noticed this, they accused me of being “fake”, and preceded not to talk to me.  How can someone be angry with you for being happy? It wasn’t forced, yet I was making a conscious decision to focus on things that made me happy… Eventually, although I was never 100% sure of why… that “friend” and I stopped talking. It really hurt my feelings, for a really long time. We were really close, best friends even. And I didn’t know what happened. Maybe she was just too negative? Maybe I was coming off wrong. Regardless, I guess it doesn’t really matter.

I don’t really know what inspired me to write this entry, but I hope that it gives you a little bit of insight into who I am, and “why” I am “so happy all of the time”.
It’s hard for me to be around negativity. I see it so clearly, dragging people down, weighing the world down, and my natural instinct is to first, try to nurture the negative. Help those people see things in a more positive light. But after so much negative feedback, regardless of the positive I try to throw in, some people just never cheer up. And so, it seems, my sunshiny rays of happiness are being sucked into a dismal abyss, and nothing is reflected back. This becomes almost as dangerous to me, as throwing something down into the sewer. If you see no fruit, no glimmer of hope… what’s left there but a happy-sucking-siren? To be quite honest, it’s exhausting. I don’t like giving up on these people, because they are often people who I know and love. But sometimes, for my own sanity and health, I know that I need to take a break from the situation. It’s kind of a catch-22.

Anyways, this has gotten to be MUCH more extensive than I started it out to be… and i’m exhausted! I have 2 shoots tomorrow- an engagement, and a newborn, and I still need to make sure my batteries are charged and my beanbag is stuffed, so I’d better hop off to bed!
Thanks for listening.

Oh, and I love you Dad, happy Father’s day.
Thank you for the love. And the lessons <3